Monday, October 19, 2009

Drift.....drifffft

So today....might have had the potential to be slightly annoying and or boring, but i was a little preoccupied being dead. I dont know why but for the past month or two i've had this weird feeling that im not really myself, or awake. does that make sense? i dont feel like i'm in charge anymore. i dont know, maybe i'm just being paranoid. all im really sure about? is that whenever he calls and i can hear his voice everything is better. i wish he would call...

Another thing, im worried im too clingy. i mean...i've never been so dependent on one person before. its gotten to the point where if i don't have some sort of contact with him every day i feel awful. and its great bcause i know i love him, but at the same time everytime i go to call him i hesitate because im so worried. haha and there's the irony. i'm always getting on his case for worrying so much, its very hypocritical of my but then again who isn't?

i've seen relationships ruined because one person was way 2 dependent on the other. and....what's going to happen next year? when i won't get to see him at all? im freaking scared. i probably sound like a silly little girl. i dont want to be dependent. i dont want to be like her. i saw what that did to her...granted she got over it pretty quickly, but still. she's stronger then i am.

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