I wrote a song today

I wrote a song today. I wrote it for several different reasons

1. Because i could

2. Because i need a goal. if i can learn how to play guitar, then i will put music to this song and it will be beautiful. it will cause mass panicking because the world has never seen something so incredibly awesome before. HA.

3. it sums up what i feel at the moment....in a weird way.

So here it is.

My friend the Tea kettle

likes to sing her song

about life and love and joy and lust

and what the hell went wrong?

And in my kitchen theres me

and then there's-

My friend the Coffee pot

likes it black and strong

no cream or sugar

and there's where it all went wrong

And in my life

I am a bird

Flying back and forth

from pot to kettle

and i don't know what it's worth

'cause pots and pans

and forks and spoons

all live in the same drawers

of my kitchen

And in my kitchen there's me

and then there's

My friend the paper napkin

likes to soak up words

don't know what he's seen

but he knows what he's heard

and sometimes

in my life; it get's too much

he wraps himself around me

and becomes my paper dress

My friend the big blender

likes to shake things up

he likes to stain my paper napkin

and tear his paper heart

and i don't know how to stop him

'cause i don't know where it starts

but we're all in my kitchen

and my kitchen's

in my heart

Drift.....drifffft

So today....might have had the potential to be slightly annoying and or boring, but i was a little preoccupied being dead. I dont know why but for the past month or two i've had this weird feeling that im not really myself, or awake. does that make sense? i dont feel like i'm in charge anymore. i dont know, maybe i'm just being paranoid. all im really sure about? is that whenever he calls and i can hear his voice everything is better. i wish he would call...

Another thing, im worried im too clingy. i mean...i've never been so dependent on one person before. its gotten to the point where if i don't have some sort of contact with him every day i feel awful. and its great bcause i know i love him, but at the same time everytime i go to call him i hesitate because im so worried. haha and there's the irony. i'm always getting on his case for worrying so much, its very hypocritical of my but then again who isn't?

i've seen relationships ruined because one person was way 2 dependent on the other. and....what's going to happen next year? when i won't get to see him at all? im freaking scared. i probably sound like a silly little girl. i dont want to be dependent. i dont want to be like her. i saw what that did to her...granted she got over it pretty quickly, but still. she's stronger then i am.

Music suggestions

Go listen to this music!

Free Stress Test By Professor Murder
Fresh Blood By Eels
Help I'm Alive By Metric
Say It All By Sondre Lerche

Pissed.OFF.

So last night i was happily making a comic full of snarky comments and relative awesomeness when i was distracted. i left my sketchbook on my bed and went off to frolic through fields with dancing unicorns on acid. and before you ask no we were not listening to Lucy in the sky with diamonds..(we were listening to i am the walrus xp) so anyway while I'm away with my unicorn minions my mother finds my sketchbook and the er....questionable comic and blows a gasket. i came back and she's standing over my sketchbook with this look on her face that tells me I'd better get the eff away from her. but before i can make an escape she grabbed my sketchbook and began growling ( no...really) because unfortunately this particular comic contained some rather...colorful language. and my mother despises color. i swear she can walk into a room and drain all the life out of it just by saying my full name in her angry pissed off mother bear voice. so anyway, long story short. she has confiscated my sketchbook which is a catastrophe because i have not finished putting the rest of my art on deviant art! and this makes me sad. but mostly pissed because she really had no right to go through my stuff ( what does she think she's going to find anyway? drugs? condoms? a stripper? haha that would be hilarious though...if i had a stripper living in my closet. i would love to see the look on my mom's face if she opened the door and some hot chick was standing there. she'd probably go into shock at the sheer lack of skin coverage.) so anyway....at least i have my backup sketchbook. huzzah for being prepared! somewhere someone is watching lion king and scar just erupted into an epic chorus of be prepared! ^.^

I'm back!

ok so i'm back from Virginia with Eva. it was most entertaining. the entire ride up there i was given a lecture on sex. huzzah for awkward conversations with older women. and don't worry i won't go into details it was traumatizing enough for me and i would rather not be responsible for anyone who spontaneously combusted upon reading them. (it's been known to happen) so anywho. i am back now, knowing a whole lot more then i ever needed or wanted to know about certain things which will remain unmentioned. tee-hehehe i enjoy being vague. or i should say i enjoy people's reactions. They can react in two different ways. they can get pissed off (which is always entertaining) or they could just keep asking questions because they are either too oblivious to notice that you will never give them a direct answer, or they are cunning enough to make you slip up and actually tell them something of useful importance. which is always a disappointment. boooo. so yeah i think i will continue ranting about random things for now...reason being is because SOMEone is not on facebook and therefore not replying to my message thingy...boooo. i feel bad though because i'm purposefully ignoring one message because it would require being angsty in order to make a satisfactory reply. and i'm just not feeling that right now. although i was yesterday...but that was because of the tyrant. otherwise known as my mother. jeez nothing is ever good enough for her! and whenever i show the slightest weakness she pounces on it and rips apart all my barriers exposing this pathetic squishy thing that sniffles alot...makes me want to slap it. (and not in a totally hot kinky way either) so then i get mad at her AND myself for having being so weak and helpless, and i take it out on myself. and then afterwards i have to cover up where I've completely scratched away the skin and if my mom sees even a hint of a scar she'd put me on some sort of "anti-depressant" crap and blames it on my father when it has nothing to with him but everything to do with her!!! omfg...i have turned into one of those horrible emo bloggers. damn. i shall have to make up for this some how....UNICORNS ARE UBER-FANTABULOUS AND I LURVE PRETTY PINK PONIES.....WITH HEARTS PAINTED ON THEIR ASSES! :D and now if you excuse me i must go hide myself in shame.

Not so much

Mornin'

so i'm off to Virginia sometime tonight with a friend (Eva). To be frank i have mixed feelings about this trip. On one hand i absolutely adore Eva! on the other hand....children annoy me. Why would children be an issue? well because i have not developed the ability to say no, i have been proclaimed as "official lifeguard" when we go to the lake. which means.....direct contact with the little monstrosities. oi.

ah well...off to pack, i'll be sure to include bear spray (but not for the bears, although that would be an excellent excuse) i can see it now....

Eva: ...erm Daily, why on earth did you spray that kid with bear spray

Daily: he was invading my personal bubble. let this be a warning to allllll children.

children: *cowering in fear*

MUHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Btw.

Please be aware of the fact that i'm just KIDDING. i would never harm a child....on purpose. *ahem* but seriously. child abuse ain't kewl.

Feelin' emo so lets write a stoopid poem huzzah.

Meh. i fail at poetry but i decided to write some the other day in accordance to my mood, which was rather dark and miserable. feel free to completely ignore the angsty-ness. well here goes, if your actually thinking about reading this BE WARNED. i'm not pretending i have any talent in writing poetry (because i don't) so please don't hold it against me if you read this crap and want to completely blow up your computer screen. sigh. weeeell here goes.

Moon slides over pale disorderly figures as they climb
up
and over
tombs reaking with despair
fire leaps past the shadows
reaches for my hand
soar
back through the mirror and hide
behind closed doors

don't look!
as the cold dead hands reach for
me? her?
decayed fingers caress my skin
looking for the life that screams
through my veins
pull back and
run!
panting as i fly from
her shadows

mirror after mirror
shows your true eyes in the gloom
bloodshot
they stare back
filled with the horror
of things still unseen

mouth opens
in a silent scream
no sound
to hear
but they can feel
the anguish

teeth shining
hardened chill
falling
spiralling
twisting
sinking
lower
through the mirrors
but they follow
with shrieks of delight
faster
and
faster

land
on frozen lake, ice
CRACKS
fall through
can't breathe
eyes open, and realization
hits
not drawning in water, but
moonbeams

close my eyes
and i remember
the wings
that caught her, but they aren't for me
left to drown in silent
agony

the figures loom behind
forgotten mirrors
they push back there hoods
identical
success gleaming in their eyes
turn to look at
the faces of the tormentors
gasp, breathe in sharp
lungs crack as i inhale frozen moon

its her
all of them
or....
are they me?

the mirror shatters across
her face?
my face?
shards across the ice
turn to dust
released from the moon
spread eagled
broken
pathetic
skin breacks
ink flows
the mirror screams
echoes
in your ears